It’s 11:53 pm my 2-year-old is still awake, my spray tan looks like I rolled around in dirt, and I’m sick with a cold.
How did I get sick?
It was one of those things where my toddler got sick and I tiptoed around for days trying to not catch it. Chlorox wiping everything and washing my hands and then I gave up because I thought, what am I thinking? Any minute I’m going to get a sneeze to the eyes and it would have all been in vain anyway, and that is exactly what happened.
Also, my back looks like I had a fight with Freddie Krueger and my fiancé says to me “those look like marks of passion” when not even a half an hour earlier I was yelling “ow, stop it, ow, stop it” to my toddler. Talk about zoned out.
I eventually gave in as she drew on my back with a crayon while I enjoyed the moment of quiet and zoned in on my show. I guess my skin is more sensitive than I thought. Of course, I wasn’t wearing a shirt… I never wear a shirt except when I’m in public… sometimes.
Not much happened besides the fact I ran into work on a night I usually don’t work, 2 weeks early… But I at least finally bleached my atrocious roots for the occasion. So for once in my life, I’m not scrambling an hour before I have to be at work doing my hair, which takes 3 hours.
I try to take my own advice, I swear.
I have to say this because this is one of the main reasons I created this blog.
I am not perfect, and I’m so bad at being perfect I can’t even pretend to be perfect.
Alanna P.
Which gets me to the point of Instagram. Yeah, I’ve been trying to gain a following on Instagram. Mainly, Instagram and Pinterest are all I focus on, then Facebook here and there. There are just too many social media sites.
I CANNOT DO NOR DO I GET THOSE PERFECT PASTEL MOMS. Nothing against them, even if it is a lie, they are still better than I am at pretending to be perfect.
Their houses are perfectly pastel and white, very minimalistic, with white carpet, with their 3 big dogs, and 4 kids. Their homes look like those little pretend floorplans at Ikea, but even BETTER!
I just can’t do it, I just can’t. So that is where I come in.
I made this meme because I follow these women, and the above image popped up in my feed and I wanted to throw up.
This is the story of my life.

Who puts a white rug where their toddler plays or even has access to???
My daughter got this kitchen for Christmas and here I was all excited about it. Then in a second of looking at Instagram, my whole bubble was popped. Just. Like. That.
Does anyone else feel like they just must be the worst mom on the planet? Or just a huge slob when they see these perfect Instagram photo’s?
(Forget dressing my kids in matching outfits on a daily, my 2 year doesn’t even like to wear clothes!)