Yes, I hate being pregnant. It is the second worst experience of my life besides detox. Don’t get me wrong there are beautiful things about it, so before you want to jump down my throat, let me just explain.
So because I get hyperemesis gravidarum I have to say my pregnancy is a lot worse than the average pregnancy. But for this list, I am going to just go with the average normal pregnancy which is bad enough.
1. Acne and breakouts. I remember my first sign of knowing I might be pregnant wasn’t sore boobs or lack of a period, it was the fact that the whole side and back of my thighs was covered in pimples…. then my chin, forehead, chest. All. The. Heck. Over.
2. Sore boobs. There is no reason for them to be that sore in the beginning, or anytime until the end of the pregnancy, but they just are. If anything or anyone bumps them, you grab your boob and roll into a ball…cursing under your breath.
3. Everything hurts. Everything hurts… let me say it again. Everything hurts. My neck hurts, my back hurts, my ankles hurt, my hips hurt, my tailbone hurts, my butthole hurts (from constipation), my throat hurts (from puking or the 6th cold I have caught this pregnancy), my eyeballs hurt (because hormones make everything blurry), my chest hurts from dragon heartburn. It just all hurts.
4. Dragon heartburn. I felt that if I could propel from my chest I would honestly breathe fire. I actually had my doctor tell me to chill out on the tums because I could calcify the placenta. It doesn’t hurt the baby but could cause issues in delivery. I mean it was 24/7 burning but especially when I finally got to lie down exhausted, nope. I had to prop up my head and wake up in some kinked position and my neck didn’t hurt already…
5. Constipation. In the first trimester you are constipated because of hormones and dehydration from morning sickness, or HG. Then later the baby is squishing all your organs so then you are constipated even more. Which just destroys your butthole.
6. Hemorrhoids. The constipation and pressure of having 10 pounds of blood, fluid, baby, and sacs pressing on your organs, specifically your butthole, kind of makes stuff start to just fall out. They have such a pretty name for it too…. “piles”.
7. Swelling. It doesn’t matter if you eat salt or not, you are gonna swell. Plus, I am so miserable the last thing I want to do is watch my salt intake. Your ankles and feet swell, so none of your shoes fit, and wearing flip flops everywhere is your go to shoe. Then don’t even get me started on the pregnancy cheeks.
8. Weight Gain. This one is easy. You look like a whale, feel like a beached whale, and waddle like a whale if they suddenly grew feet and walked on land. You are always soooo hungry, even if you just ate you feel hungry again 5 minutes later. Which ties into my next one.
9. None of your clothes fit. Even for us that are blessed to be able to wear pre-pregnancy clothes longer than others, eventually you reach a point where you have to wear hideous maternity clothes, and nothing is cute.
10. Mood swings. Everyone around you has verbal whiplash on a daily. You are angry because they don’t have the right ice cream flavor and storm out of the shop. You cry because you can’t get the carts unstuck at the grocery store. You are a ball of bubbling emotion at all times.
11. You pee your pants… because your husband locked the bathroom door, while in the shower, and didn’t hear you yelling outside it. Not saying I had this experience or anything. This usually happens on consecutive pregnancies. You pee if you laugh too hard, if you sneeze, or throw up, or if you just don’t make it to the bathroom in time.
12. Skin thrashing. You get weird blotchy skin on your face and on your body. It fades out eventually but not quick enough. Just blah… THEN let’s get into the stretch marks. I had someone tell me a few years back that my stomach looked like Freddie Krueger’s face, and it stuck. I can’t unsee it. Boobs, butt, thighs, knees, tummy, stretch marks don’t discriminate.
13. Your hair is either super greasy or super dry. Yeah, you either feel like it’s dry as straw or you could ring it out in a pan and cook some bacon. No winning.
14. It feels like it never ends. Those darn Braxton-Hicks contractions, which are just annoying. Then the “is-this-the-real-deal-or-poop-pains” the last few weeks. I swear I thought I would be pregnant forever. Now once they are out, it seems I can’t get time to slow down!
Now last but not least, and definitely the worse for me.
15. Morning Sickness. For normal pregnancies they call it morning sickness, but it’s literally anytime and all the time sickness. Can happen in the middle of the night, at work, in the line at the DMV, and it comes on with no warning.
Now I had, HG, so I could add a few more to this list, like the constant trips to the hospital, the IV’s, the tons of anti-vomiting pills, the crumbling teeth, sore bleeding throat and mouth, etc. But that is a whole different post.
In the end though, the whole thing is worth it 10000x over. I did it twice even almost dying in my last pregnancy, and I plan on doing it again.
Nothing in the world is as amazing as giving birth to your baby, even after the hell. That makes it that much more satisfying.
I don’t care what anyone says pregnancy is hell and it sucks! I hate being pregnant! I honestly will never understand those people on “I was Pregnant and Didn’t Know It.” Like come on!
If I missed anything let me know in the comments below! It seems our mind blocks how bad it is so we do it again. LoL!
